Think 5, Saving You Moments of Regret

If I act upon my negative thought, how will it affect my life in the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, and 5 years? Think 5!

Think Before You Act...

Was it Worth it to Try to Fit in?

Never think that you have to do something crazy to just fit in. I often think of one of my former 8th grade Middle School students who returned to school after summer break. I recall him being an easy going, approachable, and very humorous young man. He would always find me and engage me in a conversation; I always looked forward to our daily interactions. As we left for summer break, I can vividly remember him coming by my office in between classes and joking around as he typically would do. I rushed him away so he wouldn't get caught in the tardy sweep before his next class. Little did I know, this would be the last time that I would see his bright personality. Summer ended and school began. While standing in the hallway and watching my students greet me on their way to class, I could see him in the distance walking towards me. As he walked closer, I was preparing myself to rush him to class in one of his many attempts to engage me in one of his funny stories so he could purposely be tardy to class. Interestingly, this time, he walked passed me as if he didn't know me. I called his name and he looked confused. After staring at me for a minute, he walked towards me with a look of confusion on his face. He spoke to me in a tone as if he didn't know me. I said hello to him and asked him how he was doing. He responded and I told him to go to class and we would talk later. Later that day, several of my students met with me to tell me that they saw my student talking to himself. They were confused because when they tried to tell him that he was talking to himself, he denied it and even became so angry with them that he threatened to fight them. They pointed towards my window and told me to look outside. I looked out the window and it was then that I saw him standing in the quad area in the center of a circle of other students talking to himself. Sadly, the students thought it was funny. I walked outside to ask him to come to my office. He obliged. While in my office I made small talk with him. He acknowledged who I was, but he definitely wasn't he same person that I once knew. After about 5 minutes, he started talking to himself. Immediately, he made eye contact with me as if he noticed that he was talking to himself. He then stated, "I'm not talking to myself." I kept him in my office and contacted his parents. They arrived about 30 minutes later. While conversing with his parents, they shared that their son started hearing voices during the recent summer break. At first, they ignored it and thought he was joking with them. As the behavior continued, they would tell him if they noticed that he was talking to himself. The father shared that they knew it was life threatening when one day their son left the house running, ran into traffic, and laid down in the street. When they asked him why would he do something like that, he replied, "The voices told me to do it!" The father then revealed that during summer break, his son started trying to fit in with a crowd of young men on their street. He repeatedly told him not to hang with them because this was a bad group of people. His son resisted his counsel and continued hanging with this negative crowd. One day, they offered him some marijuana. Wanting to fit in with this crowd, he tried it. Unknowingly, his so-called friends put some other chemicals in the marijuana. His son was never same. As I sat there listening to the parents share their pain, I noticed both his father and mother wiping tears from their eyes. I sat speechless. While clenching her bible, the mother looked at me and and in a low sad tone she said, "I thought that I was about to start living my life because he was getting older. Now, I am going to have to take care of my son for the rest of his life." The father shouted some expletives in anger as he again reflected on someone providing his son with something that ruined his life. His father's parting words would echo in my mind for years, "Was it worth it to try to fit in?" Always Think 5! It could save your life!

Think 5 - Road Rage

All too often the news media will report an incident of road rage. We've all been in a situation where a person has cut us off on the road or accidentally veered in our traffic lane. After dealing with whatever problems that we had to endure that day, now we're dealing with someone acting selfishly while driving. Words could be exchanged or we could choose to stay away from the car. Yes, we're upset, actually fuming, but is an altercation with this individual worth your sanity or life? It's not worth it! Practice the Think 5 principles and drive away. It's better to drive off reflecting on the Think 5 principles rather than engaged in a heated argument with a rude and uncaring person. Think about it, you could drive away reflecting and asking yourself the following questions: What if I had reacted to this person's behavior? How would my life been impacted in the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, or 5 years after acting on whatever negative thought I had about that person's behavior? Next time, you encounter a person driving selfishly on the road, try to Think 5, it may save your life or the other person's life.

Think 5, Deescalating a Situation

When a person works with the public, at any time he/she could encounter a very angry person. In my line of work, this type of encounter happens on a daily basis. Although it's a challenge, I try my best to always be prepared for these types of interactions. Each morning before I unlock my door to greet the public, I always reflect on the Think 5 principle - If I decide to act on my thoughts, how will my life be affected in the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, and 5 years? Sometimes I have to repeat this to myself because it's easier to just greet a person with unpleasantries when someone is unkind for no reason at all. Instead of returning insult for insult, I do the following: 1) Maintain my composure; 2) Give eye contact so the person knows that I'm listening to them; 3) Wait for them to finish their thoughts; and 4) Proceed in trying to assist them in resolving their concerns. Does this always work? I would have to say no and yes. No, because some people are just unhappy people and no matter what I did to resolve the situation they still walked away angry. Yes, because I walked away knowing that I did not allow this person to compromise my professionalism, reputation, but most of all my job. Exchanging insult for insult will only escalate the situation to possibly hurt feelings, a physical assault, threats, or even death. It's not worth it! I am always practicing projective thinking via Think 5 when dealing with the public. You should try it too!